After so long, it happened again. The history repeat itself again and again in every year.

My bf choose not to go out so sudden again. Sometimes, I am just so lost. I do not know what to do, who to turn to? Just had a hrash quarrel again.. Almost for nth! He just suddenly flared up and say got no mood to shop. Which 1 hr ago was alright and yet now, i am left alone...

He said he is tired, he said this is wasting his time. He feel so stupid accompany me shopping and choosing my stuff.. What a sudden explanation that i received when I just changed my clothes and prepare to go out...

Sometime I start wondering should I get out of this world and move on or should I just remain.

I am sound stupid here and I admit that i made hrash desicion without thinking further. I often suggest breaking up and ended up i regret it myself. I feel so stupid! People always said that I should treasure such a good guy and shouldn't say all this things, but who the hell know what am i suffering deep down?? I onli say the pros of him and did not say the cons of him out.

Sometimes I really dun wan to be in a relationship and wana give up. But yet at times, I need care and concern.... Friends are nt everything, they can't give you wat a bf can give.. But at the same time, there are prices to pay tooo.. In a relationship, mood can be affected at any time of the day...

How i wish i had someone to talk to know... But, nope there is no one that i can speak to. Later is another day of me in orchard alone.. Gona plan my day... Where should i go , how should i go around till late night... There is no point of me going back early.... And i also can't meet my friend as i dun wan to alert anyone.. Cause ended up all blames are back to me..

He changed.. Changed to a person which I feel so far from him.. Yes, I may say all the shit here, but this is wat i am thinking...

I really feel like ending up everything yet I dun wish to regret... All i wan is quality time spend together.. And this is so diffcult..

From nth to fuss about slipper, to clothing, to no mood and in the end, i am left alone and get the blame..

Maybe thoughts are just different, for now or rather from long time ago, I had forseen this realtionship will not last.. Yet it drag till now... How long will it drag?? Is this a bless or trouble to me???

What am i suppose to do????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

I feel like so stupid, this is a private blog which on one will come in and yet i am asking a question here... and I had to answer it myself.. I had what I am now!!!